Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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