come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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