Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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