my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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