Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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