A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
