i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
