we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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