He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
