life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
