I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
