ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
