Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize