Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
