Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ugly people sure do ruin things
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
