I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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