Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
