I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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