Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize