You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it was like eating out sand paper
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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