I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
