they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
