You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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