if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
