And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
