just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize