Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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