god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
