I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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