I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
