apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
