Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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