wat bout pragnant strippers??
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
