Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
