dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize