I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
