I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
