therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
