Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
