Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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