This girl is more easily done than said...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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