How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
