So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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