I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
