is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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