Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
