I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
