She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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