So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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