my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
