Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
