If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
