things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
