If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize