"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
