I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
