I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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