what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
