There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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