just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
