I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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