I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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