$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We named our party play list daddy issues
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
