bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
