Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
tell me about the fingering
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