Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
