i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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