these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
