He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
