is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
