In the future we'll all be gay
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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