ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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