Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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