Grow some girl-balls and come out already
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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