And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize