Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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