Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
