I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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