He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
