hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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