Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
