If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
